Staying Stylish in Suburbia

Baby Bubble- bits and pieces of my birth story

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

For those of you who haven't heard...She's here!!!

Maslynn Josephine Briggs made her way into the world on July 24th weighing in at 7lb 9oz. It was a tough delivery in some ways. She was head down but she was also face down instead of up, making it that much harder to push past the pelvic bone. Not fun and thoroughly exhausting but after 13 hours of labor and nearly two hours of active, painful pushing she finally emerged perfectly pink and pretty as could be.

Now that it's over I keep asking B to retell the story from his perspective. I was completely present for the entire birth but it was almost as if the work that I had to do to get her out was so intense that I wasn't aware of anything but the pushing and the contractions. I do remember getting upset with B over something silly at one point and snapping at him as I screamed through a contraction. Then I realized what I had done and yelled out that I couldn't believe I was acting like such a "f*cking cliche." Everyone had a good laugh at that. But it was true. There I was essentially acting out the birth scene from every movie ever made only this time it was real. It was me in the bed not some freshly make-up faced actress. I pushed so hard that I felt like eyeballs were popping out of my face. It wasn't pretty I can assure you of that. It was real pain, exhaustion, frustration, irritation and anticipation. I wish I could say that the whole thing was some beautiful, mystical experience. It wasn't. By the end I was running out of steam and afraid I wouldn't be able to get her out. The beauty came afterwards when all the work paid off with a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

It's funny what stands out. I also remember being really hungry during the entire process because they wouldn't let me have anything to eat or drink but ice chips and Popsicles. I kept day-dreaming out loud about eating donuts of all things. (I hadn't had a donut in years.) B promised to get me some as soon as the delivery was over and true to his word brought back a dozen while I was in recovery. Nothing like breastfeeding a newborn while eating a chocolate glazed donut. Endorphins and taste buds unite!!!

Those were the random bits and pieces I recall but the best moment by far was when they finally pulled her out and laid her on my chest. Seeing that little face... With both my daughters I just remember thinking, There you are. Of course it's you. It couldn't be anyone else but you. 

Then there was the moment that Esmae and Maslynn met for the first time. Having both my babies in the same place and seeing them as sisters side by side left me feeling complete in a way I hadn't been expecting. Like our little family had come full circle somehow.

Since we've been home my recovery has been surprisingly slow. I am still in a bit of pain but getting better all the time. B has been able to stay home from work to help out with things.  Esmae, after a few almost manic moments of regression, i.e. asking to be wrapped up like a baby in a blanket, has actually been adjusting quite well to all the changes.

It feels as though the four of us our in our own little bubble. Usually the restless one, I have been perfectly content these past two weeks to pass the days in a sleep deprived haze, healing from my battle scars. I am mesmerized by the almond shaped eyes, screech owl cries and baby head smell of my newborn while remaining thoroughly entertained by the delightful antics of my toddler. And least I forget I must also take a moment to say how grateful I am for the rock solid, sweet man I call a husband. Without whom I shudder to think how I would manage.

So life is good. Exhausting but good. I'm hoping to continue to heal physically and by the time I've mended I'll probably be chomping at the bit to get out with the girls and try my hand at mothering two out in the big ol' world. For now though I'm more than satisfied, soaking up the slow hours and enjoying this growing little family of mine tucked away in our own cozy corner.


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