Staying Stylish in Suburbia

Too many tabs open- Why my mind won't shut down.

Thursday, January 30, 2014


When I saw the saying above it made perfect sense to me. It feels like my mind has been on overdrive, lately. I lay awake at night and try as I might I cannot seem to shut down. When I told my husband about this he asked what was troubling me. A fair question, seeing as though the source of my insomnia is usually some kind of problem I'm wrestling with. That's just it though. There's nothing that I can point to that's keeping me awake. My mind simply darts from one unimportant thought to another, never landing on any one subject long enough for it to even matter. There is no rhyme or reason for my nocturnal disrest. It's literally like I'm flipping channels and whatever pops up stays in my head just long enough for it to lead to the next flippant idea or image. Here's a snippet of my mind at 3am. 

Those airstream campers I saw on Pinterest today were amazing. I totally want one now.  I haven't eaten hush puppies in so long. I LOVE hush puppies. How does that poem by Emily Dickinson go? "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all." Go to sleep, Juniper... I can't believe Maslyn has two teeth already. Should we have another kid? My car has a headlight out. I've got to remember to get that fixed. Maybe I should try counting sheep. That's so random though. Why sheep? Why not count horses or cows. I'm going to count birds 1,2,3,4, 5....Hopefully I'll have time to do that DIY for the blog tomorrow. The moon is really bright tonight. Moonstruck was such a good movie. I want to go see an Opera with Brent one day. Go the to sleep!... I hope I didn't fuss at Esmae too much this afternoon. I love that girl. She already recognizes the "E" in her name.  I should try to make hush puppies."  

I mean seriously!? Clearly, this is it's own form of anxiety but it's strange since I'm not aware of being anxious about anything in particular. I definitely don't do well without my beauty sleep though and I'd like to get to the bottom of it. 

Honestly, sometimes being a stay at home mom and catering to every one's needs 24/7 while at the same time trying to do my own work, leaves me stretched thin. I think my brain goes into automatic overdrive. I'm not complaining. It's mostly really good and exciting stuff, if not a little overwhelming. Just like the quote above says though, I have too many tabs open. I feel pulled in a lot of different direction and I need to find my center again. It's all about balance and if there's one thing that's missing in this equation it's time to just be still with myself. Not playing with my toddler or telling her for the hundredth to stop putting food in her hair. Not nursing my baby or changing diapers. Not talking to my husband about money or making dinner. Not checking my e-mails or Facebook, or updating twitter or blogging. Not anything but just being alone with my thoughts. Because apparently the only time I get to do that nowadays is laying at bed at night at 3am.

As a solution to my nocturnal woes, I've been thinking about getting up earlier before the girls in the wee hours of the morning. I could do a few sun salutations and have my coffee in peace. Yoga, quiet and coffee. The trinity of me time. It's strange to think that the solution to my insomnia might actually be to wake up earlier, but taking a moment to pause and replenish mentally, physically and spiritually might be just the thing. It's worth a try anyways.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Anyone else out there dealing with similar issues? Any advice for me?

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